Responsibility for emotion

There has been a culmination of things recently that have contributed in me feeling pretty good right now. I’ve always said that feelings aren’t as important as truth; but what I have learnt is that feelings are a good indicator of the truth of the state of your soul.

A huge thing I’ve come to realise, and I can’t quite believe I hadn’t fully realised this before last week – it really is that recent – is this: I am not responsible for other people’s emotions. In turn, they are not responsible for my emotions. But if I say something that makes someone else feel hurt? In complete honesty, I am not aware of the last time I said something with the aim of hurting anyone. I’m sure you’re the same, or at least I hope you are! But I’m also sure that things I have said in the past have actually hurt people. But am I responsible for their emotions of hurt? You could argue that I am, as I was the one that caused the hurt.

But still, I am not responsible for their emotions.

I was chatting this through with a friend on Sunday night, and he said, “What if I tell you that you’re ugly? Then I’m responsible for your emotions, because I’ve caused you to be upset.” But no – my friend, whatever he said to me, still would not be responsible for my emotions.

If you call me ugly, and I get upset by it, that’s my responsibility. If you call someone else ugly, and they laugh it off and it has no effect on them whatsoever because they have a healthy self-esteem and they’re very secure in themselves, then equally, that’s their responsibility.

There is such freedom in this. If I have said or done something that hurts somebody, and it’s clear that I’m in the wrong, then of course I need to apologise. There’s no harm in apologising anyway, whether I’m in the wrong or not. But what’s not going to happen is me being controlled or limited or being made to feel bad because of somebody else’s emotions.

I’m not responsible for your feelings in the same way that I’m not responsible for your children.

Everybody is responsible for their own feelings and emotions, and they need to learn to manage them, either with help or without.

Disrupt the process of internal combustion

When life presents uncertainties, it can affect your mind and it can certainly affect your spirit. It can create in you a sense of distress and a lack of peace. When this happens, it’s all too easy to allow these thoughts to run riot in your head, and internally things just get worse and worse.

It’s really important for you to disrupt this process of internal combustion.

Jesus is the Prince of Peace. His desire and purpose is that you would be saturated with the Holy Spirit, that you would allow him into your heart, that you would allow his presence and his peace to flood your soul, your spirit and your mind.

Whatever else is causing you to feel pressure in life, know that God is not under the slightest bit of pressure. Just make sure you are following him. Make sure you stay close to him. As his child, he has you firmly in his hand.

Child of God, God has called you according to his eternally perfect purpose. He will work out everything for your good. This is truth.

Reject the lack of peace. Exchange it for the peace of God. Reject the attitudes and pressure that are being brought upon you by other people who simply don’t know any better. Pray for them. They need the peace of God too. But you don’t need their stress, their misunderstandings and their pressure.

God has you. Come close to him in this time.

Beach huts

Life is colourful. Viewed with the right lenses, the colours are beautiful, and even if you don’t agree with the colour scheme, your lenses allow you to view the whole pattern as one – and it’s perfect. Viewed wrongly, it can get pretty horrible.

Also, I’d like to live in a beach hut for just a short time.

A couple of hopes for a Monday morning

I’m sitting in a church toddler group, on a comfy sofa, drinking coffee and watching my son play with trains. This is my day off so far.

He seems to be slowly transitioning out of naps recently.

I hope for a couple of things for the remainder of today’s daylight hours.

1) My car has been playing up. It currently has a small puddle of water where my feet operate the pedals and I had to jump start it this morning for the second time in two weeks. So I’m hoping it starts after the toddler group.

2) I have a couple of things to read today. One is something I’m not particularly enthusiastic about, the other is continuing Pete Scazzero’s book Emotionally Healthy Church. So I’m hoping the boy naps when we go for a drive imminently.

That was Saturday

Today was filled with family activities such as visiting the wonderful IKEA in Southampton (meatballs were included), the wife taking the boy to a party, and me being taught how to play a game on the iPad by the girl.

I also de-Christmassed church.

And that was Saturday.

A new blog for a new year

Here I am at the start of 2018 with a new blog. I’ve had many, many new blogs over the years. But the less said about that, the better.

I’ve always had something in me that wants to write, and that wants to take photos. I say always, it’s actually since I became a Christian at the age of 19. I think God put these desires in me, along with the biggest passion of all which is preaching and teaching the Bible.

I usually write at least 3000 words every week, so adding a blog to that count is probably not wise, but let’s see how that goes.